The other day, someone posted a thing on FB about how bad it was to force children to show thankfulness in the form of requiring them to say, “Thank you” to others and forcing them to right thank you cards.
On one side I was appalled. I thought that if we don’t teach them to be thankful then they will just be selfish little beggars who never show gratitude. But you know if I am honest with myself and you, I have to admit that being someone trained under that very system, I actually find myself fighting against giving thanks to others for their generosity or their kindness.
There was a song we sang in church that I am finding myself remembering and the song started, “Give thanks with a grateful heart.” I don’t know how many times I have sung that song without really considering what I am saying. I thought I was grateful, but lately, as I rethink this, I must admit that there is an attitude of either ungratefulness or thinking I am some how deserving of the good things that are done for me. In fact, I can remember being resentful towards some people because they were not giving me my due or supporting me as I thought I should be supported.
I am realizing that in me there is this little boy who resents being told to be thankful or being expected to say thanks. As a result, my thankfulness is somehow stifled. Instead of being thankful when I receive a gift or someone’s help I find this awkward feeling rising up in me. Instead of responding to the kindness with a sense of gratitude I start struggling with a voice that says, “You better say ‘Thank you,’ or else!” That causes me to hesitate which intern brings shame because I haven’t done it and pretty soon I just want to forget the whole thing.
But as I consider the sermon I heard Pastor Ron Flores Jr. preach, I am beginning to realize that I have freedom in God’s grace; freedom to respond with a grateful heart. As long I struggle under the externally and internally imposed “You must!” my flesh rebels against doing the required thing. I am realizing that the response to legalism and performance-ism is often rebellion. I don’t want to rebel against God’s will but as Iong as I deal with it in the realm of must/must not, I will find myself fighting against God’s ways and his intent for me.
But as I consider what was shared in that Sunday Sermon that I listened to on line, I am left thinking, “Wow, have I ever got this wrong. Lord, thank you for the freedom you have given to me by your Grace. Thank you for your example that encourages me to think beyond the limitations I and others have set on me.” I have freedom in Christ. So often I have missed the true picture of what the freedom looks like.
I know that this is not the freedom to do whatever I please; the freedom to be selfish. Instead, it is the freedom to try and fail without shame, knowing that Christ has already begun a work in me that HE will continue to work on until the day I go into Glory. I am free to live as a child of God for the rest of my life. I am free to pursue God with my whole heart soul and mind, with all of my strength because He has made a way where there seems to be no way. Grace has empowered me to live the abundant life that He has foreordained for me to live.
But getting back to gratitude and how and why we express it; consider the following -
If I am forced to show gratitude to those around me, then I become someone who demands it. True gratitude comes from the heart not via coercion from the outside. When we demand or expect gratitude then our focus is upon ourselves. This is a case of trying to save ourselves and thereby losing ourselves.
These words came to me as I was pondering Ronnie's sermon. True gratitude flows from the heart unhindered. It is a natural response to what Jesus has done for me. And because I have every reason to be grateful/thankful because of what He did on the Cross and his giving us his Holy Spirit, thankfulness is not something compelled but rather it is something that naturally flows out of the Christian heart. And as we are grateful to Christ, we are able to be thankful to all those around us and for every little thing. The Law cannot bring about righteousness, only God’s Grace can do that.
Walking in God’s Grace,
Pastor Alan
