Dealing with unforgiveness

In the Gospels we have a number of quotes from Jesus that should give us all pause when we say things like, "God (or I) could never or should never forgive so and so for what they did." The first scripture that comes to mind it from Matthew chapter six immediately following "The Lord's Prayer". It says that when we do not forgive our brothers (or sisters for that matter) then God will not forgive us! Yikes, in my book that is reason alone to always forgive.

Maybe be its easier if you have failed in a big way; if you have committed one or more of the big ten. And maybe it's harder when you have not overtly committed one of the great sins. But In Jesus words, if you will excuse my paraphrase, "If you thought it, you did it." The person who looks at another person with lust in their heart is guilty of either adultery, if they are married, or fornication. Pretty serious sins. He also tells us that if we hate someone then we are guilty of murder. So if you think you are sinless or that your sins don't count as much as those of a murder, fornicator, homosexual or adulterer, then think again.

The cost of sin is death. All of us have sinned an fall short of the glory of God. All of us need the saving power of God's grace and Jesus' blood. But actually at this point I am more concerned about those people who don't think that God can forgive them, or that think that they cannot forgive another. According to Jesus there is only one sin that cannot be forgiven; blaspheming the Holy Spirit. I think that most people do not know how to do that, but there are some out there treading on it by claiming that speaking in tongues (strange languages) is of the devil. Now putting that aside I might ask if it is possible for people to so far as to become unforgivable. I would say no.

In a conversation with Peter beginning in Matthew 18:21 the topic comes up to about forgiveness. Peter being super-spiritual asks, "How many times shall I forgive my brother up to 7 times?" Jesus response is, "Not seven times but seventy times seven." Now I am not a legalist. I do not take it to mean that Jesus was saying that we only need to forgive someone 490 times. I take it as hyperbola. It is a way of saying, "Always forgive!" When I think that here our Lord is telling us that we must always forgive someone when they sin against us, I am left to wonder what is God's position on forgiveness. If we must always forgive others, then I am left with believing that God will always forgive us, when we come to Him earnestly asking for forgiveness.

The Hebrews saw God as The God who forgives all our sins and heals all our diseases (Ps. 103:3). So even in the OT the people of God saw YHVH as the God who will always forgive. In John's first epistle we are told, first that anyone who says they are without sin is a liar. We all need God's forgiveness. But then he goes on to tell us that if we confess our sins, (which is to say be in agreement with God that we have in fact committed a sin) then God is faithful and just and will forgive us of our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness. Those are pretty powerful words. And I must ask myself how must I respond to them?

I am left with the conclusion that God doesn't want to hold anything against me. So long as I am willing to fess up and admit that I have sinned and ask for His forgiveness, He is willing to forgive me.

What what about those people who are perpetually sinning. People who are addicted to pornography, sex, drugs, alcohol or any number of other life dominating behavior patterns? Can such a person receive again and again, God's forgiveness? I must say yes. First if God requires us to repeatedly forgive others, then He too must be willing to forgive anyone and every one. Whatever God asks us to do, is in line with His will and His character. Now there may be consequences for such behavior, much as there is a consequence for putting your hand in a fire. But I have seen people who spent most of their young adult lives, using drugs and alcohol, who have been fornicators and who have repeatedly stolen from their families to pay for their addictions be forgiven and healed even of things like AIDS.

The problem is, is that there are schemes of the enemy in place, set to entrap us, to take advantage of our weaknesses so that we will be held captive to sin and not see the fullness of Gods redemption. Now I cannot say that I know all the theology behind this; why it is that some people find it easy to be free of sinful habits and for other's it is a life long struggle? Some blame it on generational curses. Others blame it on strongholds in our lives. Whatever the case, some people just seem to struggle more than others until the root of it is found and pulled out.

I have seen multiple methods employed to get to the source of these people's problems. I have seen people set free only to be sucked back into the same web of sin and condemnation. I have recognized the enemy's one-two punch of temptation followed up with the double cross of condemnation. I have also seen people who have been deeply hurt by loved ones. This can be one of the hardest things to overcome. Children whose trust was betrayed by parents or close family friends or members. I have seen wives and husbands betrayed or abused by their spouses. For many the cycle goes on and on; abuse, forgiveness followed by further abuse. But whatever the case, from what I have seen the only path to healing for those sinned against is through forgiveness.

I don't mean to say that someone must continue to subject themselves to abuse, but at the same time, I am saying that no matter the hurt, we must work to not repay the sin but rather to forgive the one who has sinned against us.

Jesus forgave those who crucified him while he hung on the cross and doing so demonstrated to us how we are to deal with those who hurt us. As his followers we are called to become more and more like him. To lay down our preconceived notions of fairness and the right to retribution and instead bless those who curse us and pray for the benefit of those who mistreat us. We must also forgive those who disappoint us; this has been a difficult path for me. We are all in process. We are all working out our salvation with fear and trembling. I know of no one when compared to God and his perfect Word who can all themselves perfect. So if we are not perfect in God's eyes and yet He has offered us salvation and forgiveness, how can we then who are imperfect expect perfection out of another person? Yes people will fail us.

So let us all move on and live in the freedom of God's love by giving up unforgiveness and granting forgiveness to those who have failed us or hurt us. Jesus came to set the captives free. One of the things that holds us in captivity, to fear and endless anger is unforgiveness. Let us cast it aside and embrace to fullness of God's agape love that we might walk in the freedom that Christ has granted us through the forgiveness of sins.

To God be the Glory forever and ever, Amen

What is Worship?

I have been walking with God for over 25 years and still some Christian terms are not really clear to me. But on an occasion I get a clear picture. One of the loaded terms we use in Christianity is the word "Worship".

For the longest time I thought worship meant singing in church. But as my faith grew and I went to seminary the picture got bigger, but not clearer. Pretty soon everything is worship. Giving tithe, singing, praying - in fact the whole church service is often referred to as the "Worship Service" But this is just a list of activities; it doesn't get to the root of the meaning.

I have come to the conclusion that godly worship is this: The appropriate response to the presence or the knowledge of God. What our worship looks like after our encounter with God, is a matter of the state of our hearts. When our hearts are dark and filled with sin we can respond one of two ways. We can reject God (in belief that He is rejecting us) or we can worship him. I think when our hearts are not clean, true worship is when we fall down before God in humility recognizing that we cannot save ourselves and that we can only look to the grace and mercy of God for our salvation. I think we should even beg for it, but not because that is what God demands, but rather it just shows how much we realize we cannot live without God's mercy and grace.

I think our response to God - our worship - will vary from day to day. I think "acceptable worship" is a wide brush stroke. I think we can sing, dance, fall on our faces, laugh for joy, weep tears of gratitude, and the list goes on. But what ever it is, it must be authentic and true. Jesus says his people will worship in spirit and in truth. The apostle Paul tells us in the first verse of Romans chapter 12 that we should present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is our spiritual worship.

We are told in the Word of God what we are to worship the Lord our God only. Which seems to imply that there are other things that we could worship; other gods, the creation, wealth, personal freedom, pleasure etc. In this sense this kind of worship is not godly or appropriate worship but rather idolatry. I think when we put other things before God we are saying that in worshiping other things we are giving something besides God power over us. In godly worship we recognize that there is no greater power than our Triune God; God the Father, God the Son (Jesus Christ) and God the Holy Spirit.

I pray then for you reading this that you find an outlet for your worship that is acceptable in the sight of God. I pray that you will be set free to abandon all your fears and hang-ups and worship the God of Glory in spirit and in truth. I truly believe that as we learn to worship God in Spirit and Truth, that we will have greater freedom and a greater joy than we have ever experienced. I am not suggesting anarchy, but freedom from fear of other's rejection and freedom to respond to how God is moving in your heart. There is a place for this, maybe in your personal prayer time, maybe in a home group setting, maybe atop a mountain; I don't know. Only you in your earnest and sincere seeking of The One True God, through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, in the Power of the Holy Spirit with the guidance of the Word of God, can know what worship will look like for you.

Some would say that God would never ask you to do anything you are uncomfortable with. I would strongly disagree. Its when we step out of our comfort zones under the calling of the Holy Spirit that are set free to worship in Spirit and in truth.

To God be the Glory! Amen

Guns, Freedom and Slaughter

Yesterday a mentally disturbed young man, killed his mother then took 4 guns to the school where is mother worked and killed the principle, 20 children and several adults. I can see people already taking up sides on either sides of the issue of handguns. I am a moderate and I try to avoid extremes except where my Lord Jesus calls for me to lay down my life for others, so my response to the will likely tread on the toes of both sides of the argument.

In principle I agree with the statement that guns don't kill people; people kill people. But that fact is, is that people are killed with guns and often by people who know them. Except for gang violence, a hand gun is more like to result in the death of a member of the household or neighbor than a criminal. Do I believe in our right to defend our selves? My answer is both yes and no.

I have never owned a gun. There have been times I have thought about buying one, but to keep peace in my household I haven't. I have worked with a lot of people who own guns, and those who make a practice seem to find reason to pull theirs out to "defend themselves" far more than I ever have. There is part of me that thinks that owning a handgun somehow changes one's mind set, or maybe it's the other way around. Maybe those who buy and own handguns for "Self-defense" just have a different mindset.

I have never found myself in a situation where I wish I had a gun. Now I am not advocating banning guns or crazy gun control. I served in the Navy for 22 years in the US Navy and as part of my reenlistment oath, I pledged to support and defend the Constitution of the United States; that includes the Second Amendment. I may not advocate gun control, but I do advocate responsible gun ownership. In the incident that happened in Connecticut this past Friday, I can't but wonder if those 4 guns had been locked up so that this mentally unstable man didn't have access to them if the whole tragedy couldn't have been avoided. The problem isn't that guns can kill people, it's that they make it so easy to kill others on impulse. If that young man had come the school with a kitchen knife the death toll would have been much smaller.

So some extremists think we should eliminate guns, while on the other side people demand the right to arm themselves. Unfortunately our society has so many guns both registered and unregistered, that trying to eliminate them would be a hopeless cause. But how about some simple training about how to responsibly own a gun so that it doesn't fall into the hands of children or mentally unstable people living in the house. The constitution does guarantee the right to bear arms, but we also have a responsibility to control them so that they do not fall into the hands of someone who might use them for purposes other than self-defense or target practice.

One last thought I have is "What could we as a society done to help that family with their difficult son." How could we have poured out the healing power of love so that maybe instead of anger and rage being his response to difficult situations, that he might have had someone who might have loved him and reasoned with him. Now I understand that reasoning with a mentally unstable person can seem like an impossible or pointless effort but my experience has shown me that love overcomes a multitude of wrong doings.
Love can make a way where there seems to be now way.

Dealing with Messes

This morning (August 9, 2012), at the place I am staying in Kyiv, I went to move a bowl of batter. I didn't realize that the bottom was sticky, so it dumped all over the counter, the stove and down between the stove and the counter. Nothing like making a mess in a kitchen that you are not familiar with and add to that was in a state of chaos because they are trying to repair the washer which is in the kitchen. One of my hosts, Natasha came in to see why I had made an exasperated sound. I cannot say with full certainty that this is exactly how it conversation went, but it seemed to me that she said the following. "Oh praise God we can fix this. Don't worry this is the kitchen there are always messes being made in the kitchen. Just the other day I had several eggs on the counter, they rolled off and made quite a wonderful omelet on the floor. Don't fret, life is full of messes, better they take place in the kitchen." At which point she shewed me out of the kitchen and proceeded to clean up after me. I wanted to clean up after my own mess, but you know sometimes God or others have to clean up after us because they are better prepared or equipped for it. So the next time you or someone else makes a mess, just remember my friend Natasha's words and clean it up with a smile and knowledge that it won't be that last time there is a spill or a mess in you life. Jesus warned us that we would have troubles, but we are to rejoice because He has overcome the world.

Service in the beyond

Sunday, December 04, 2011

Last night, or more accurately this morning I was woken up at a rather pleasant and vivid moment in what had been a long string of very strange dreams. In this dream, my wife and I where sitting at one of several long rough-hewn tables and young beautiful Ukrainian girls with broad smiles and sparkling eyes were serving us freshly cooked blini (thin pancakes, thinner than American pancakes but thicker than crepes) along with cirok (a soft slightly sour cheese that is kind of like cream cheese) and a rich dark fruit syrup that was rendered from some sort of blue or purple berry. In the dream I could see the detail in the texture of the blini, smell the fresh cooked aroma and see the steam rising from the plates. They served us and fed us until we were ready to pop. I think in part the dream came from our dinner at our dear friend Sveta’s that we had attended Saturday evening. There were no blini at Sveta’s dinner but we were filled to excess, with tasty Ukrainian cuisine.

But what struck me most about the dream was the joy that I saw in the faces of those who were serving us. Not that we were so worthy of being served but rather that it brought pleasure and joy to these young ladies to serve others. Now I have all kinds of thoughts about gender roles as well, but I will have to save that for another time. What I have discovered as I ponder this dream is that it shows what I believe is a deep spiritual truth. I am convinced that service is one of the most sincere forms of love.

Now before I explore this more, I would like to share some observations I have noted while living in Ukraine. On many occasions I have been privileged to experience Ukrainian hospitality, both in people’s homes and at social functions. I see at work a deep seated desire to serve and bless others working in the hearts of my Ukrainian friends and hosts. Sometimes I have thought that it is because we are “Americans”, but more recently I have experienced it because we are older as there is still a reverence for the elderly that is at work in some of my Ukrainian friends. But I have also seen something else at work. They serve me because they are grateful for my service to Ukraine. I must admit that I have not seen this kind of service and gratefulness at work in America as strongly as it seems to be working in the hearts of my Ukrainian friends. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by it. Sometimes I am a little embarrassed as I cannot remember being honored by young people like this before. Now maybe that’s because I turned 50, or maybe it’s because there is just something at work here that makes service to be seen as a virtue rather than a curse. But I digress.

What I am realizing is that when we serve someone else, it is one of the key ways to express our joy in their being created in the image of our God. It is a practical way to consider others more important than ourselves. This is a truly Christian value that is not exclusive to any country or any culture. I think other cultures do it better than some while a few cultures have turned service into drudgery, something lesser people “must” do for people in higher status. As I see it though, when we serve someone else, we lower ourselves (putting off our self-importance) long enough to acknowledge them as a person of value. Now I don’t care if a person is a president, a pastor or a drug addict, they all have one thing in common; they are made in the image of their Creator. I believe that by serving others, we reenact Christ’s work on the cross by dying to ourselves to serve others.

Additionally, before our Lord Jesus was crucified, He assumed the role of the lowliest of servants and washed the feet of his disciples. Then He told them (and us) to do likewise. I have been to churches where the pastors or deacons wash the feet of the people they serve. It is a profound and humbling moment. I think that many of our churches have lost sight of the value in this tradition. But I don’t think that Christ was just asking us to do some religious act. I believe that He is asking all of us to set aside our self-importance long enough to say those around us are valuable in the eyes of their creator and that we all should find practical ways to demonstrate that. Jesus did it by washing someone’s feet. Mother Theresa did it by tending to the lowliest and sickest of India’s poor. We each can find ways to serve others.

I know this needs further exploration, but let me just leave it by saying that serving others is one of the greatest ways of demonstrating God’s love for our family, our friends, the greater circle of faith and our neighbors. When Gandhi was asked what it would take for him to become a Christian he responded “For Christians to act as Christ!” Accepting and serving others is being like Christ. Service is not earned; it is a gift freely given, just as our salvation was freely given to us through God’s grace and mercy. Service is one of the ways that we can demonstrate how thankful we are to God. And we can do that by serving those made in His Image.

I also think I must also address the need to accept another’s service. Sometimes I have frankly been embarrassed to accept another person’s service. I don’t feel worthy or something about my self-sufficient American attitude makes it wrong to ask for or to receive help. There is part of my psyche that thinks accepting service makes me somehow weak. But I am realizing that by accepting another’s service, two things are accomplished. First we allow the other person the opportunity to acknowledge God’s handiwork in us. They are able to recognize us as His creations and that by honoring us (each other) they both demonstrate the worth in us and their thankfulness or respect for that. Secondly I believe that by allowing ourselves to be served, we admit that we are not all sufficient and it humbles us to accept such service and in so doing honor the one who serves us.

Lastly I would like to say that we should never expect service and we should never expect others to be grateful for our service. Service isn’t something we demand, service is something that we gratefully accept. Also service isn’t something that we do begrudgingly or because others are grateful, but rather it is something we do freely with joy and peace regardless how it is received. Now I cannot say that serving others will always be filled with joy or will be easy but I can say from personal experience that serving others is worth it.

In closing I would like to encourage you who are pastors, deacons, parents, and teachers, that part of our job is to cultivate the idea that service isn’t something that we must do, but rather it is something we get to do and further I would also say that we should work hard to avoid cultivating an attitude of entitlement. Service is an expression of the freedom that we have been given in Christ. We are free to serve others because we have been freed from the tyranny of “Me first!”

We are not entitled to anything; including service. If any of us begins to think we deserve service because we are a leader or an elder, a parent, a husband, a wife or some other sort of authority figure, then we risk making ourselves into little gods who demand that others worship us. Service must be freely given and just as freely accepted, but never demanded or expected of others. Service is an outflow of God’s love at work in our hearts. It is not done conditionally or with the expectation of gratitude or recompense. If we do it for any other reason we risk creating an idol that will draw us or others away from our relationship with our Creator and Savior. Service can be something we choose to do, but I think in its purest form it is the love of God, or the love from God manifesting itself in us and through us. Service then becomes a natural expression of the new creation that Jesus has recreated us to be.

Serving with Joy,

Alan

Addendum:

I would add in relation to couples and relationships that when one party demands service or gifts from the other it is a sign of their heart not being right.  When we feel the need to demand service or gifts from our spouse to prove their love, it is our own brokenness driving us.  Conversely if we refuse to serve or give gifts to our partner it speaks to a hardness in our own hearts.  Service and gifts should never be demanded in a relationship but still they should flow freely out of the Love that God has put in our hearts.

Service doesn't demean until it is demanded but even when it is demanded, a loving servant can serve without feeling demeaned.  Love covers a multitude of sins it can even cover over the sins of a demanding partner.