What is Love?

I see lots of posts on Facebook about love; some are sappy and some are hard.  I am left with a number of questions. But I don't just want to rant here. I want to hear/read your responses to the following questions.

1.  If love means never having to say you are sorry, do we have the right to never apologize to our loved ones?
2.  If tough love means saying "no" to demonstrate our love, when is saying yes not loving someone?
3.  Is it truly love if the person we love doesn't feel loved?
4.  If love is a decision, what value are our feelings?
5.  What is the motivation that validates love?
6.  Can we truly love someone if we don't feel loving?
7.  I have heard it said, "You cannot love others without first loving yourself." But doesn't self love lead to "me first" thinking which prevents us from loving others effectively?
8.  Can you commit an unloving act and still validly say that you love someone?
9.  How do you love someone who constantly stands in the way of, ignores or belittles your hopes, dreams, desires and/or needs?
10. How do you love your enemies?

I would love to read your responses to these questions. I have some thoughts on these questions but first I would like to read your responses. Please explain your reasoning in your responses.

I will add to this post as we go along.

Looking forward to hearing from you

Preacher Al

Fighting the Good Fight

This morning for some reason I found my self thinking about an incident in my past; a time where God broke into the situation and profoundly got my attention (well at least for the moment).  I cannot retell this story without breaking into tears because to me it speaks so loudly of God's love for me.

Background

My wife and I were married fairly young by today's standards.  I had just turned 20 and my wife was 18.  I am not sure how many people were routing for us but, I suspect that there were a lot of people thinking... that won't last.  My idea of marriage was to be the bread winner; work as much as it takes to keep food on the table and a roof over our head.  My wife married me in part to get out from under her parents roof but also because she was smitten by me.

We both had baggage and it didn't take long before our baggage started causing us problems.  We fought, in fact we fought like cats and dogs, not in public, but if you were our neighbor you would know that we had anger issues.  It rarely came to physical blows, but there was a lot of yelling, especially on my wife's part.  I hated yelling and would always hold off until I couldn't stand it any more.

One thing we had going for us though was we never badmouthed the other in front of others.  I didn't blame her and she didn't blame me.  We both recount this time when friends invited us to a picnic at the beach with some of their friends. It was a nice day at Cliff-side park just south of Santa Cruz, CA; one of our favorite places to go in youth.  The food was good and is often the case we broke up into the men's group and the women's group.  Afterwards my wife and I were both shocked by how much time these folks whined and complained about their spouses.  I don't know why but AnnMarie and I had decided mutually without ever saying it out loud, to never complain about the other in front of friends.  This may have made us look like the perfect couple to our friends, but we still fought regularly.

Our New Life in Christ

When when we have been married close to 15 years we both came to the Lord.  Read My Testimony if you want to know a bit more about that.  But coming to Christ, did not instantly fix all our problems.  We still fought like cats and dogs.  And of course now that I was studying the Bible I could tell my wife what was unbiblical with her behavior, which at times was like adding gasoline to the fire. But one day I had a "God encounter" that profoundly shook my world.

So it was another of those days when we were at odds and arguing.   There was yelling and recriminations flying back and forth.  And somehow in the middle of this I had a vision from God.  In the vision I was sitting on the floor, and like a child having a tantrum I was thrumming my heals and my fists on the floor in my frustration.  Then suddenly in the vision Jesus appeared.  He was standing over me with his hand out and he said "Alan, whenever you're ready we can move on."  I was stopped in my tracks.  My anger bled away and was just left feeling a bit sheepish.  I shared it with my wife, but for the life of me I cannot remember her response to it.  But I was profoundly affected.  It did not stop our fighting, but after that all I had to do was think of that moment and I would stop fighting.

Today

So as I was thinking about this event this morning, and no we were not arguing.  We haven't had a fight like that for four of five years. It occurred to me that so often we fight for the wrong things in our life.  When I was young, I fought for my pride, I fought to get my way, I fought to prevent things from changing and I fought to be in control.  I think my wife most often fought to get my attention, to be heard and to try to get what she thought was right of us.  But in all that fighting I cannot say that I really ever fought for us.  I never fought for unity, I didn't fight to defend our relationship from all the things that were trying their best to pull us apart.   

I often times have worked to serve my wife (on my terms).  But I cannot say that I have fought for her.  I love her, and am very glad she is in my life.  I cannot think of another person who works so hard to support me and encourage me so long as I am pursuing God and his purposes in my life.  But I would like that to change starting today.  I am challenging myself (and you my readers) to fight for your marriage/relationship and to die to the need for control and put myself first.  Lord, thank you for another revelation, may your Love, Hope and Faith lead me in all righteousness.  May I ever seek to keep our marriage one that puts God first, unity second and self last.

Amen

.

So who am I called to be?

With all the chatter about gay marriage and those for and against it, I thought it was time I stated my purpose as a child of God and how I might address such issues.

For me first and foremost I am a "Disciple of Jesus Christ" who is called to be a "Minister of Reconciliation." To that end I take the words of Jesus to heart which says that He did not come into the world to condemn it.  He came to seek and save the lost, to heal the sick, to free the captive, to bind up the brokenhearted and to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.  His life on earth demonstrated God's love for sinners.  Granted He didn't say continue sinning, but Christ came sharing about the Kingdom of God to those who the religious leaders had rejected.  These leaders had turned faith in to a laborious task in keeping all the minutia of The Law.  These men demanded things of people that God had not intended.  Jesus hung out with tax collectors drunkards, the unclean and even prostitutes.  He didn't do it to say they should stay that way, but he came to call them back to God.  The people who didn't like Christ were the super religious who thought they had the answer to all the world's ills and didn't approve of Jesus methods.

Yes I know that Jesus, like John before him, preached "Repent for the Kingdom of God is at hand."  I think that this is meant for all those who knew they were sinning and just needed a push to admit it and turn from it.  But others are trapped in their sin.  They may be deceived into thinking what they are doing is not all that wrong; that is really isn't sin. Or they believe that they cannot give up their way of life, for reasons such as addiction, brokenness or fear of a life without their sin.

Jesus hung out with sinners, isn't that what I should do?  Not to take up their habits, but to show them that God still loves them.  To demonstrate that they are not hopeless, but if fact it is God's desire to forgive them, heal them and bring them into the Kingdom of God/Heaven.  I am further encouraged by the words of the Apostle Paul who said that he became all things to all men that he might save a few.  I don't think he meant he should enter into the sin of those he was reaching out to, but he worked to understand the culture that they came from and found common ground to talk about the things of God.  So if I am going to speak to people, like Republicans, Democrats, Tea Party members, conservatives, liberals and moderates, then I have to work to find some common ground; to find out where they are coming from.  I don't agree with all the positions of any of these people, but I am willing to talk to them about God's love for them.  I will even talk to atheists and homosexuals - not to beat them over the head with my rhetoric, but to demonstrate the reality of God's love that is at work in me.

When the Apostle Paul talked on Mars Hill he didn't attack the Greeks for their obvious idolatry and sexual sins (temple prostitutes and such), rather he found common ground to talk about his love for the God of the Universe.  Not everyone agreed with him, but that was okay, he made inroads into the culture.  Like Paul we need to find ways to talk to (not down to) materialists, liberals, conservatives, tattooed and pierced folks in such a way that shows that God is alive and at work in us.  They don't need our finger waving in their faces.  I believe there is a place for correction, but I believe it should be mainly confined to the church, but even still done out of love and not out of anger, hatred or self-righteousness.

When I received my call to serve God it was from 2 Timothy 4 staring in the 2nd verse.  Part of the calling deals with correcting, rebuking and encouraging people with careful instruction because the time is coming (and I believe it is already here) when people will not listen to sound doctrine but will gather around them people who tell them what they want to hear.  They are not interested in the truth, they only want to hear that they are right.  So I am cautious to try to not just tell people what they want to hear, but I really try to exercise my gifts tempered by God's love (1 Cor. 13).  My temperament is such that I work hard to give the other person the benefit of the doubt where possible.  I know the human heart is darkened by all kinds of wrong desires, like the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life.  Some people are not easily dissuaded from their chosen paths.  They know what they want and they are just so sure of themselves.  Sometimes you just have to shake off the dust and move on.  But I believe God has given me this outlet here in my blog to touch peoples heart with bit of God's love.

I am a realist and I don't expect everyone to agree with me, but I am also pragmatic in that I am willing to enter into a conversation with anyone who is willing to share and willing to listen.  I know what I believe and I don't see myself giving up what I know to be true.  But I am willing to enter into a discussion with someone who may not agree with me.  Some people just want to label me as a religious nut or a homophobe, but really do you think I will listen to you and give you any credit if all you do is attack my belief system.  I have already done the "I don't trust religious people or God" thing.  I think I might actually understand some of your reasons for being an atheist, agnostic doubter.

I see my job as someone who encourages Christians to work on their relationship with God, to cultivate fruit of the Spirit (Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Generosity, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-control NRSV) and to demonstrate the tangible love of God - in other words become a good disciple of Christ.  I realize that the body calls for all kinds of gifts and talents so some of you may not have the same approach as me.  I take the words of Jesus to heart where is says "Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God."  I am here to help reconcile people to God. and God has not given me a big stick to do so but rather a merciful temperament.   I see my self reaching out to both Christians and those who don't like Christians working to bring peace, reconciliation and love.

So regardless of which side of the fence you are on, I will continue to both reach out and to share my insights.  I have a calling to answer to so I will not always say what you want to hear, but I will say what I believe that the Spirit of God is revealing to me.

Blessings,
Preacher Al

Homophobia, Liberals and Hate

The other day a friend on Facebook posted a photo with an actor stating more or less that a better name for homophobes is a__holes.  I think this same quote was also ascribed to a homosexual Star Trek actor.  I cannot speak to the veracity of either claim as to who said it, but to me it is just another form of bullying.  I think it is true for both many conservatives and liberals that when they encounter someone with opposing views on life, they try to disenfranchise or dis-empower them by labeling them.

By labeling people we say "I am not going to deal with you, I am just going to pigeonhole you and degrade you"  So in my book if you say "God hates fags" or label people as "homophobes or a__holes" you are one more of those in the world causing pain.  You disagree with them (Because you think you are right) and then you attack them with labels in attempt to degrade them.  I support neither of the camps mentioned above.  I don't believe "God hates fags" is a godly response to sin.  I do believe that homosexuality is a sin as are many of the current popular attitudes to sex and money.  But as a Christian, my response to these kinds of people is to be loving.  Now loving them doesn't mean I approve of their choices, it just means I value the person because they were created in the image of God.

I hate sin of all kinds.  I especially hate the sin that creeps into my life in the form of pride or justification of my wrong attitudes, motives and actions.  I hate the effect sin has on people but I am bound by Christ to love sinners.  Some sin tastes sweet in the beginning, but it's life long effects is often devastating.  Other kinds of sin are obviously wrong.  Often times sin in our lives is obvious to those around us, but we want to be comfortable with it; we want others to accept it.  Other times we know it is sin, and work very hard to hide it.  But sin won't remain hidden.  Sin finds a way out and then we are discovered in it.  Sometimes the discovery seems like a relief.  But the relief should never be confused with the idea that the sin is okay.

Now some of my brothers and sisters seem to think that morals or morality is the solution; just keep the rules and everything will be alright.  But I see morality as the outcome of our relationship with our Savior-Redeemer.  As we grow close in relationship to our Creator - Savior God, we don't want anything interfering with that divine relationship.  That is why God hates sin; it damages the relationship between Creator and his creation.

I hope you don't get stuck on the issue (one side or the other) of homosexuality.  In our current culture it is a very provocative topic but to me its is just one of the many forms of sin that entangle us.  I try not to make it any greater than greed, lying, hate, fornication, infidelity or sloth.  We are all sinners needing the redeeming power of The Cross of Jesus.  We all need to come to a place that says, you know, I am blowing it and I need to start afresh.

Calling people fags or homophobes isn't going to change them.  It is just going to cause anger or rebellion rise up in them.  Shaming people is rarely effective in getting them to change their minds.   It is the Holy Spirit's job to convict people of sin and righteousness.  Our job as Christians is to demonstrate the reality of the Love of God in how we treat one another and how we treat our neighbors.

There are so  many labels that people use to pigeonhole other people.  Sometimes this used it to attack someone's race using words like nigger, spic, chink, gook, or even honky.  Sometimes we use labels to attack someone faith - bible-thumper, holy roller, frozen chosen  heretics or fanatic.  We use words like liberal or conservative as if they were curses.  We have words that we use to denigrate people of the other sex and different personality 'make ups.  Personally I believe that all these labels do nothing more than demean the divinity of humans.

I firmly believe that we are all created in God's image but we live in a broken world.  As God's children, our job is to bring God's love to bare in every corner.  Not in rhetoric or with mere words, but with actions.  Mother Teresa got it and there are others I know who are getting it.  God is love and as his children we are called to love the unlovable and to even love those we don't like.

The apostle James said that it is not right that we both curse humans (made in the image of God) and praise God from the same mouth.  So, let us put off this need to label and attack others and instead glorify God our Creator and look for ways to see the divine in and love our sinful neighbors.

Blessings,
Alan

Some thoughts about atheism

It is interesting that I found myself thinking about writing something about atheists and then this morning I got a link to a YouTube commentary to a Fox News video titled "Dumbest anti atheist question of the month?"  I am convinced that many believers are really not prepared to talk to atheists.  Part of this is due to pseudo-christian tendency to become defensive and hostile to people who say they don't believe.  Now I have to admit that some atheists are especially caustic and obnoxious, but hey that's their choice... or is it.

When I think of atheists, I don't think of them as enlighten people who some how have been set free of the burden of believing that they and the universe they live in were some how made on purpose.  I don't see them as enemies of God or of people of faith necessarily.  I have personally placed them in one of a few categories that I will list below.

1.  They were either the children of atheists or they were influenced by other atheists to believe that people of faith are not rational.  I find this often times in the intelligentsia.  These people are convinced that they are smarter than the average bear and like to look down upon us poor uninformed people who actually believe that there is more than just order to the universe, that there is in fact purpose and One who is responsible for both the order and the purpose we find in the universe.

These kinds of people are so convinced of their intelligence and rightness that they will not allow themselves to be drawn into an discussion about the possibility of a deity of any kind.  Personally I think that anyone who dismisses an argument out of hand is just hiding their fear of being found out as a fraud.  Arrogance is often just a cover for fear.  Such people are afraid of being proven wrong.  Better to just pray for them and trust that one day the right circumstances will put them in a place to be open to listen.

2.  Those who have been abused, hurt or disappointed by those claiming to know God.  I think these people can be reached by authentic compassionate Christians.  These people are upset with God because human beings have failed them.  They are not true atheists, but rather hurting people who blame God for the wrongs done by those who claim to be followers of Jesus.  Even Gandhi rejected Christianity because Christians in South Africa supported Apartheid. These people don't need caustic retorts from supposed believers.  Many of them know that the Bible says that Christians will be known by their love, so they are looking for it.  They have rejected Christianity, its followers and their God because they are not seeing the love Christ promised in the Bible.

3.  Some people are mad at God.  They prayed the prayer of faith and their loved one still died.  These people wanted to believe, and they took the Bible at face value which says that whatever we pray in Jesus name will be granted us.  Obviously (to me) we cannot take this Bible passage out of the context of the whole Bible.  There will be unanswered prayers.  There will be those who die of cancer and other things where it seems wrong and unfair; a child left without a parent; a child taken by unkind circumstances, a faithful loved one killed senselessly.  Any of these situations can cause a person to turn their back on God and say that there is no god.  In fact they may be very hostile to the thought of believing in God.  But again these people just need some love and compassion to see the reality of our faith.

4. Some are atheists because they look at the disunity and the wrong done in the name of Jesus.  They look at all the things wrong in the Church and say, "There cannot be a God which they serve if they act this way."  I admit after studying church history, I was left with a sick feeling in my heart.  I have an answer to that which I will address here some day soon.  But back to the main point... these are hurting, wounded or disillusioned people who just want to see some authentic love.  Just one authentic Christian who would listen to them, have compassion for them and demonstrate true Christian charity (love) could be all it takes to reach people like this.

I would like to end with this.  Atheist are not the enemy.  They are people who have rejected the notion of a God for any one of several reasons.  Our true enemy is not of this world.  He preys on people's fears and hurt feelings.  He encourages hating people for their being different. Now there are the few apologist who might be able to provide a sensible reason for faith, but it is Christian love that is the real lodestone.  If people don't see we Christians loving sinners and demonstrating the kind of love that can only come from God, then there will always be an abundance of atheists.  Atheists don't need our hate mongering and caustic remarks; that only makes us like any fool walking in the flesh.  The Christian response is love for hate and blessing for cursing.  The only way to live that way is to die to our selfish fleshly urges and submit ourselves to God.

It is interesting to note that the only people who Jesus had harsh words for were the religious people, who should have know better than to try to turn faith into nothing more than keeping a bunch of arbitrarily mandated rules.  The whole of the Law, The Prophets and the writings boil down to loving both God and our neighbors.  Anything else is just human foolishness.  I am also reminded of the words of the Apostle Paul, who said that he did not come with persuasive words, but with a demonstration of power.  What could be more powerful that the love of God pouring out through our lives.

So the next time you go to bad mouth an atheist, ask yourself, "What have I done to demonstrate the love of God to this person?"

In His Love,
Alan J. Beckett

The Law of the Jungle vs. The Law of Love

Today I was very struck by a short video I watched on FaceBook posted by a friend of mine.  The video addressed the differences between how we think wealth should be, how we think it is and how it actually is distributed in America.  I was not shocked as some of you may be.  I know that the top 1 % of the wealthy hold a huge part of the pie.  But for your edification I provide this clip to look at before I continue with my post.
Wealth Inequality in America

I guess what I wanted to say was that those in the "Liberal" part of the house that are atheist and who support the idea of evolution, this is the right and normal outcome.  With no God there is no right and wrong outside of "The Law of the Jungle"  Which is he (or she) with the most toys is the best evolutionary adapted and is deserving of that wealth.  There is no real fair and right and just outside of the "Judeu-Christian" world view.  Without there being One True God to rule over us and to hold us accountable, He or she who is strongest, fastest or meanest is bound to win.  Outside of Christianity in a world ordered by evolution and our selfish mitochondria there is really no such thing as fairness or right and wrong.

In the eye of evolution the bully is just a well adapted person who is rightly exerting their dominance over another weaker individual.  Without Judeo-Christian fairness and justice, there is no such thing as rape or abuse being wrong.  There is only the strong exerting their power over the weak, which in evolution's eye is apt.  The rule of Law (both The Bible and governmental) is only right and effective in a society where all the men and women recognize a higher power who punishes the criminal and blesses the law keeper; where we recognize there are absolutes in right and wrong.

Evolution doesn't teach love your neighbor, it approves of your taking advantage of your neighbor.  He or she is just someone to be dominated or feared.  Your neighbor is either a threat or a potential source of material to increase your own wealth.  Evolution doesn't encourage an ordered society apart from the strong ruling over the weak.  Evolution doesn't distinguish between popularity, intellectual power and brutality; whatever works is the rule of thumb in evolution.

Consider the problem of inner-city gang violence; it is just a symptom of a society which has put greed, acquisition of wealth and popularity as the ear marks of a successful life.  And really the video linked above is just proof of the law of the jungle at work.  Maybe those who hold the majority of the wealth are more stylish in the acquisition of material wealth than the inner city gang leader, but the result is the same - gaining wealth and power at someone else's expense.  Evolution says this is normal, Judeu-Christian values say this is unjust.

So how do we get out of this mess?  Well, first we who are Christians can begin to live as Christ did, and stop judging our success based upon wealth, comfort and fame - in other words actually living like The Golden Rule really is a true measure of our faith. Second we can work to share the Good News in every avenue of our life.  If we really do believe and we really are going to let Christ reign as our Lord and Savior, then his values must become our values.  He died on the cross so that every man, women and child, could have opportunity to come to the saving knowledge of God.  We Christians must learn to live the kind of life based upon God's love that will demonstrate the reality of The Law of Love; therefore we must reject standards of behavior and success which are not in line with Christ's love and life.

Then we will have to police ourselves to ensure that God's love is the dominant theme at work in our lives.  That love puts relationship above wealth, notoriety and personal power. We should live such lives that demonstrate the reality of God's love at work in our hearts.  We cannot do this in and of ourselves, because like all those around us, there is a broken, selfish, greedy person living inside each of us.  We have to choose which part of us we are going to feed.  Whichever we feed, it is that part of us that will dominate our lives.

Until Christ returns there will always be those who reject him and chase after all these things that are bringing ruin on our world, but the more of us that are pursuing God and rejecting these values then the better things will be.  We can't just hunker down and wait for "The Rapture" hoping to make it till He comes back.  We are called to be salt and light in the world.  We can and must make a difference in the world.  It doesn't mean we will fix everything, but if we learn to love our neighbors as ourselves, I cannot but think that life will be much better.

Blessings,
Preacher Al

Rethinking things

Hey friends, I have been working in another direction as of late.  If you don't know I have been teaching for a Ministerial School started by our new home church.  Right now I am in the process of teaching "The Biblical Theology of Missions" for the second time, while trying to come up with more info on "The Human Condition"  I am trying to decide if an Online classroom is more my style.  I am not the best English student and so sometimes my ideas get a bit muddled in the process of tying to put them into a blog.

So if you are interested I have started an account with WizIQ.com.  You can check on one of my courses at the following link New Life Bible Study Introduction. It is something I have taught before, but never finished, but I hope to have all dozen or so classes online and available in the next few months before I visit Ukraine again.  I hope this will give me the kind of experience I will need to continue teaching this way.

Blessings
Preacher Al